Tag: blog

Well I’ve run through rainbows and castles of candy

Posted on by Shawshank

Guten Tag. Ich bin Eddie. Ich hab Brot und Wasser. Willkommen!

That’s for all my new friends from Germany that have been visiting my site and poking around. Well good morning. Happy Tuesday. It’s overcast here this morning, but it’s supposed to get sunny, and hotter in a few hours. I’m sitting here watching CNN, and drinking coffee. It’s pretty much a dumpster fire down there, huh!?

Not too much going on, will probably head over to the second hand store today, and see what they have, if anything that jumps out at me.

But happy Tuesday, I’m gonna drink my coffee now, and find something less depressing than CNN.

The way you walk – it drives me mad

Posted on by Shawshank

I don’t know what’s worse, being alone with people around you, or having no one around you. I think they’re both equally as bad. With people around, you have to expend energy on conversation. You really do have to make some sort of effort to make it look like you’re doing ok and aren’t screaming on the inside.

Smile.

Say good morning.

Yes, I had an amazing sleep last night.

No, I didn’t hear the massive thunder storms, nor did I see the lightning. But gosh darn it I wish I did.

I’m not a talker. Let me just be alone. I’m tired of putting on a smile and faking it.

I realize I’m lucky that they even wanted me here. I don’t know what I would’ve done if they didn’t. I’m very lucky. However, it’s exhausting to fake being happy all day. Sometimes, i just have an off day.

I miss my wife. I’m well aware that this is all my fault. This is all my doing, and I’ll never completely make it up to her, but I’m going to try. I don’t even know how to put it into words. I miss her so much, all the time. So much so, if I stop and think, even just for a minute, it hurts so bad.

But then I feel guilty, because I have it so easy. She has all the stress of everything. I’d rather it be the other way around.

It’s show time, put that smile on.

Also, about 2 hours before Shady Acres has their afternoon nap.

Happy Monday.

Sometimes cold and scared, and sometimes I cry

Posted on by Shawshank

Yep, it’s Monday. I walk out to the kitchen as my mom is going back to bed. “Good Morning! How’re you?!” “Good morning, I’ve been awake for four minutes.” I don’t remember her being such a morning person.

I slept ok. Started off under the covers, woke up in the middle of the night, and got dressed and climbed above the covers. Woke up when my alarm went off under the covers. I slept, but it didn’t feel restful.

Meh.

It’s hard to be positive, especially when I’m so powerless up here. It’s even harder to try to be positive for two people. When one person is in a terrible mood, it’s hard to use the power of words to help the sad/mad/pissed off person. I’m trying as hard as I can to stay happy, footloose and fancy free. It’s hard. I hate being this powerless. There’s a coffee cup on her site. Click it. Buy her a coffee. It’s more than I can do right now. I can only offer words. Y’all can move mountains. I’m completely ineffective. I’m just the douchebag on the couch trying to come up with puns that aren’t puns, so maybe I’ll get her to giggle.

Because, puns can heal.

Ok, no they can’t but sometimes, just sometimes, they can be funny. But not really.

So last night while I was chatting with Crystal I watched a little cat wander down Main St, not caring that they were about 12 feet from a dog. They wandered and laid down on some warm pavement inform of the grocery store. I went over and she wasn’t scared, came over for pets and loves. I sent some pictures to Crystal, and said she looked skinny and probably thirsty.

So I went home and got some water, and walked back. She was still there and was uninterested in water, just licking my fingers. Finally she did drink then curled up in my lap. My mom said I’m not allowed to take the cat home, because her two cats would be pissed off. Besides she says, it’s the vets cat. That’s ok. Just had a 10 minute friend. I haven’t had a kitty snuggle down in my lap for a long time.

Oh, and if you were supposed to by a Christmas tree from Crystal this weekend, and you flaked on her….

You’re a cunt, and I hope that your brakes fail as you’re pulling into your garage.

I tried to find them, but they disappeared

Posted on by Shawshank

I have no idea what’s going on. And I like it.

So far from what I can gather, there’s a pretty neat story in here. It’s about a guy with no memory of who he is, gets kidnapped, and awakens on a ship. That’s as far as I got on the main story – Ship of Theseus

Then, there’s the story in the margin. Jen and Eric. BRING ON ALL THE CONSPIRACY THEORIES!

I did start to read this outside while Shady Acres has their afternoon nap. I think I was out there for maybe (at the most) 20 minutes. Then the neighbours came outside with screeching children and bubbles. Nuf said. So I want in, and read on my bed.

It’s actually not hard to read at all. Only once, I found myself reading the main story, so I had to go back and read the margins.

There’s no pain and there’s no doubt

Posted on by Shawshank

Awake! Oh, it was nice and cool again last night. Still, I slept mostly on top the blankets. Coffee is the name of the game right now, and let me tell you, this coffee is good. But it’s nice and sunny, and looks like it’ll be a nice day here today.

I managed to mow the lawn yesterday. I did all the edging then ran the ride on back and forth over the yard twice, to make it look nice and uniform. So it should be good for a couple of weeks now.

Other than that, I have some German lessons, and definitely will be going outside to finally start the book. It’s been calling to me!

The contest is still going on for the music lyrics. Just leave a comment on the post with your answer. May the odds ever be in your favour!

Also, head over to chicky.blog and click the coffee cup. Tell em Shawshank sent ya!