Skip to content

The way you walk – it drives me mad

Shawshank, August 24, 2020August 24, 2020

I don’t know what’s worse, being alone with people around you, or having no one around you. I think they’re both equally as bad. With people around, you have to expend energy on conversation. You really do have to make some sort of effort to make it look like you’re doing ok and aren’t screaming on the inside.

Smile.

Say good morning.

Yes, I had an amazing sleep last night.

No, I didn’t hear the massive thunder storms, nor did I see the lightning. But gosh darn it I wish I did.

I’m not a talker. Let me just be alone. I’m tired of putting on a smile and faking it.

I realize I’m lucky that they even wanted me here. I don’t know what I would’ve done if they didn’t. I’m very lucky. However, it’s exhausting to fake being happy all day. Sometimes, i just have an off day.

I miss my wife. I’m well aware that this is all my fault. This is all my doing, and I’ll never completely make it up to her, but I’m going to try. I don’t even know how to put it into words. I miss her so much, all the time. So much so, if I stop and think, even just for a minute, it hurts so bad.

But then I feel guilty, because I have it so easy. She has all the stress of everything. I’d rather it be the other way around.

It’s show time, put that smile on.

Also, about 2 hours before Shady Acres has their afternoon nap.

Happy Monday.

Life aloneblogfake it til you make itguiltylonely

Post navigation

Previous post
Next post

Related Posts

Life

I said get down, turn around, go to town – boot scootin boogie

October 10, 2020

Good morning my lovelies. It’s a cold crisp morning out here in TinyTown. With the wind, it’s currently 0c – I’m gonna put my sweatshirt on pretty soon, if this coffee doesn’t warm me up. It’s book club day! When Shady Acres goes down for their afternoon nap I’ll write…

Read More
Life

And in the strip mall, town of dreams

November 5, 2024

Good morning my friends. It’s Tuesday. It’s election night. Donny T vs. Kammy H. Let’s hope good and niceness can over power shittyness and smelly. I’ll be working, but I’ll be paying attention to what’s going on while at work. It took me a little while to fall asleep. I…

Read More
Life

But with all of my tattoos and these songs I like to sing about booze

April 22, 2026

It’s morning. Podrick has been doing Podrick things for a while this morning. He’s a very bad boy. And it continues for about a 1/2 to 45 minutes. He’s quiet right now, but he’ll start up again soon. He just dragged himself across me. Crystal ordered some black out curtains…

Read More

Comment

  1. crystal says:
    August 25, 2020 at 06:11

    It’s been a long week already, and I still feel like everything is against me.
    Like this:Like Loading…

    Good morning, my darlings. Here’s your reminder of what day it is:

    Yes. It’s only Tuesday.

    Yesterday sucked, as expected. Sunday’s foul mood spilled into Monday, and it took a long time to feel like it lifted even a little. Unfortunately, my bad mood also brought Shawshank down. I feel a bit bad for that. It’s such a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” deal. Either I’m in a bad mood, admit it, and I’m honest about why, or I keep it in and insist I’m fine when it’s obvious I’m not. Both options wind up with those close to me all worried.

    Work sucked as well. We tried to finish as much of Sunday’s work as we could on Saturday, there’s only so much we can do. We never stopped moving, and my shift was nearly finished by the time I finally went to lunch. StressedRPh is floating the idea of only scheduling NewTech every other weekend, and that’s fine with me. I’ll take an extra five hour shift in my paycheck.

    Last night, I took some time to look at the budget again. If my hours stay the way they are, I should be ok until November. According to the budget, things should be ok until December. However, I’m being cautious. I don’t want to be here at that point anyway. Unfortunately, the fancypants poi probably aren’t the best idea right now unless eBay and Facebook Marketplace business picks up.

    However, there’s a chance today will be a decent shift. It’s a split shift, and I’ll be closing up shop with Matryoshka. It’s supposed to be another day of nasty humidity with a good chance of some thunderstorms this afternoon. The forecast says the storms will happen right smack dab through the majority of my shift.

    Right now, I have the added bonus of a morning workout to start the day. I did calf raises during Sunday’s workout, and my body hasn’t yet forgiven me for it.
    Related posts:Bring it Outside365Oh Deer 🦌Like this:Like Loading…

    Reply

Leave a ReplyCancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

On This Day

  • 12 months ago...
    • Can I get some fries with that shake-shake boobie?
  • 2 years ago...
    • I've tasted blood and I want more (more, more, more)
  • 3 years ago...
    • Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
  • 4 years ago...
    • I was caught in the middle of a polar bear trap (thunder)
  • 5 years ago...
    • Without somebody nothing ain't worth a dime

Recent Comments

  • cellyhikes on One’s got the matches, one’s got the lashes one’s running her mouth again: “Sorry to hear, hope it all goes well today for you and your family 🙂”
  • Shawshank on Kissy face, kissy face sent to your phone, but I’m tryna kiss your lips for real: “I forgot to add the spaghetti sauce and the meatballs w/raisins were amazing. The garlic toast, and the pie were…”
  • Shawshank on Just a good old boys never meanin’ no harm: “She’s venturing out of the bedroom more. He’s currently sleeping under my side table, and she’s out sniffing where’s he’s…”
  • John H on Just a good old boys never meanin’ no harm: “Cute! Hope Pippin warms up to the little dude soon lol”
  • Valheru Rides! on We headin’ to the dive bar we always thought was nice: “No-one got raptured here either sadly, I was hoping the second hand record shop owner was going to…..”

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 27 other subscribers
©2026 | WordPress Theme by SuperbThemes