And the story begins with a song of rebellion

Posted on by Shawshank

I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. I slept mostly through the night. Only sat up twice to clear nasal passages, and to cool off a little bit. The alarm played for a while before I even heard it. Usually, I’ll hear it right at the beginning. Got up, maybe coffee, listened to a really whining spoiled cat loudly beg for treats. My cats, I had trained well. No begging for breakfast until I have coffee brewing. At Shady Acres, if the cats are begging, whatever you’re doing is stopped, and the cats are taken care of. Not with me. You’ll wait til what I’m doing is done, and then I’ll deal with yo whiny ass!

Yep, that’s a pelican walking his lily white ass all over TinyTown last night. It threw me through a loop. I was like why is a swan wandering around town? Wait… why is a pelican wandering around town? I was really confused.

It’s starting to get cooler during the day, and really cooler during the night. I for one am kind of looking forward to winter. Not for the snow, or the cold, or more darkness, but o hope that my allergies will die a horrible death for a few months. I’m pretty sure though, that my room is the only room with the window wide open.

I’m making a little headway with ‘Ship of Theseus’, the main story is really good, slowly but surely the other story with its 3 different times are (I hope) coming together.

And a bucket of vindaloo. Bucket!*

Posted on by Shawshank

I long for a Vindaloo. I’m looking, and I think I found a recipe for a tasty chicken Vindaloo that I might make one day. I wouldn’t even add the spicy spice to it, because I live with people that think ketchup is spicy.

The spice jar that has the red pepper flakes is up on the spice rack. The red peppers flakes are brown. They don’t get used a lot. I think I was the first one to use it in a while, when I snuck some into the chilli that was made a couple weeks back, while Shady Acres slept – and they were none the wiser.

I’m really just afraid when I put it down in front of them, they’ll all just turn up their noses at it. Course, then I’d just eat it all myself.

So we’ll see. I just sent the recipe to my mom. It’s ultimately up to her. I’m not going to force my way into HER kitchen. I just want some FLAVOUR.

* yes that’s actually a song lyric.

And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

Posted on by Shawshank

So I couldn’t make the snacks for my dad, because there were already some, and my mom doesn’t like to have too many floating around the house, because my gramma will sneak them. There’s been a few times my mom has gone to pack my dads lunch, and there’s like 1 or 2 left.

It’s not good for my gramma to sneak sweet treats because of her sugarbeatus, and the fact that she won’t admit that she took them. I’ve tried the snack that I would’ve been making, i didn’t like it, so I wouldn’t be sneaking it.

Just another manic Monday

Posted on by Shawshank

Well, it’s Monday. I’m up, showered, and have a cup of coffee in front of me. I got the local CTV news station on. It’s a crisp 6c outside this morning.

I have the ingredients for a snack for Neal on the counter, I’ll try to elbow my way into the kitchen to make that, while my mom is outside taking all the green tomatoes off the vine, and retiring the plants for the season. It’s getting colder and colder at night, so before they die from frost, they’ll go away.

My German lessons are going well, having some problems with you/I/they/we but I’ll get it soon. I finished 3rd in my league, so I got to move up to the next one. We’ll see if I finish in the top 5 this week. I tell myself it doesn’t matter, but I keep looking at the standings.

Why, yes, frau I do have bread. I sliced it yesterday. There may be more bread being made today. I’ll stay out of the way of that. I learned yesterday, that I don’t know how to make gravy correctly. It was totally a Leviosa not Leviosaa thing. I put down the whisk, and left the kitchen after that.

So have you read my Twilight review from yesterday? What? You haven’t? Sacrilege! Keep scrolling and read it. It’s gold, Jerry, GOLD.

Oh baby can you hear me moan

Posted on by Shawshank

“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how dominate that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”

Aww yis! You know it. Let’s do a book review on THE SAGA. The Twilight Saga, just in case you were confused.

Let me tell you, I’ve read this more than any mere mortal should. I basically used the series as a “reset” from harder reads like House of Leaves, Foucault’s Pendulum, etc. But then you can’t just read one of the books to reset – you have to read them all.

What can I say about Bella and Edward? Wayward lovers? Predator and prey? Stalker and stalkee? A Romeo and Juliet for the new generation? Dreck? Waste of paper? Yes, all of the above, I’m sure.

Twilight is where we’re introduced to Bella and the rest of the cast of characters. Bella has moved from Phoenix to Forks, Washington because her mom married a younger guy that thinks he can play baseball. So Bella being the adult in that family dynamic (“I’m an old soul” bullshit) moves in with her dad and promptly takes over everything minus paying the bills.

She meets Edward. He likes her, he hates her, he likes her. He saves her from being crushed by a van in the school parking lot.

“Say it” he whispered in my ear.

I shuddered, just thinking about it.

“Vampire”, I Said through my teeth.

The above lines never happened in the book. Come one people, this just proves that anyone can write this stuff.

New Moon. New Moon sucked ass. Jacob is a bitch. ‘Nuff said.

Eclipse. I don’t remember this book too much. Blah blah Jacob is a whiny little bitch still. He loves Bella, she’s all like but you always smell like wet dog, and that’s gross, but my man smells like Drakkar Noir, and that’s the tits. So get out of here, and I’ll buy you some Beggin Strips later.

Breaking Dawn. This is where the action happens – in the last 75 pages. It’s like a 1000 page book so get comfortable because it’s a long slow burn. Jacob has taken what Bella said to heart and bought Drakkar, Bella and Edward got married, and broke a couple beds as the did the dirty deed in a non-extraditing South American country.

And when you put male part “a” into female part “b”, and shake it around, that’s how vampire babies are made. Apparently Bella and Edward didn’t pay attention in biology class.

Baby comes out, as babies do. Killing Bella, but Edward’s like in blood lust and is like “Smorgusbord!”, and saves Bella with venomous teeth and finally after like 5000 pages of award winning writing, turns Bella into a vampire.

The end.

I kid, I kid, they have to build up to a massive fight with the Italian in-laws that want to slaughter them all because they have a different way of life, but this is America, and they’ll do as they please. They talk back and forth for another 300 pages, and all the buildup and all the talking, they just leave.

WHAT. THE. FUCK?

Oh, well happy ending!

And I’ll read it again. And again. And again.

I do want to read the new novel – Midnight Sun. It’s from our hero, Edward’s point of view. So if someone wants to buy it and send it to me, I wouldn’t say no, and I’d totes mention your name in the review of it.