The creaking of the boards on the weathered bow

Tiny town is a weird place. At noon every day, an air raid siren goes off. It’s to tell everyone to close up shop for either a half or a full hour to take lunch. I’ve now learned when I go to the post office after lunch, I’m picking up the mail from yesterday. So when I went down today, hoping for my book, it wasn’t there.

I wasn’t mad, just disappointed, that I’d have to wait until Monday for my book. Canada Post doesn’t deliver on the weekends (something I still have to get used too). Don’t even get me started on PO boxes!


So once we figured that out, a way I went again to the post office, and found the package slip. I brought that to the counter and got my book. I raced home and ripped open the box. I had to smile at the faces my mom and Gramma had when they what looks like an old library book! My god, it even smells like an old book!

Now, broke my rule a little an read a little bit, but my attention kept getting pulled away by the TV. So I’ll wait until Shady Acres goes to sleep to really jump into it for a half hour or so. It’s really going to test my ability to juggle 2 stories at once with all the words and different fonts on the page.

By Foucault’s Pendulum, now you’re hanged

Guess what kids? It’s the for another book review! I’m trying to do them I’m the order that Crystal sent them to me (and in the order I read them in). So next up on the reading list is “Foucaults Pendulum” by Umberto Eco. And if you really like mystery, conspiracy theories, murder, and mayhem, you’re going to like this. Only if you pay attention. Trust me, I had to read it twice, to understand most of it.

The book starts off in the thick of the action. The main character, Casaubon, is hiding in the Parisian Technical Museum after it’s closed for the day. His hiding from a secret society that kidnapped his friend. Jacobo. The rest of the book is presented in flashbacks.

Again, I’m afraid of spoiling all the cool stuff. Because there’s a lot of really cool stuff in this book. If you really like conspiracy theories, you’re gonna like this book just because this whole book is pretty much 700+ pages of conspiracy theories.

The action starts right away, but with the help of the flashbacks, it really turns into a glorious slow burn. Now most books that are described as a “slow burn”, are so slow, they’re almost dead in the water (I’m looking at you, The Goldfinch…), But this slow burn is continuously building the story, and slowly pushing forward. Trust me, it’s worth it.

The above picture is Foucault’s Pendulum. Honestly, one of the characters in the book. I had no idea what it looked like. It’s huge, and looking at it now, sets a beautiful stage for the last act of the book.

I think the best way to describe this book, is kind of like the chicken or the egg. I’ll let you think on that, as you head over to your book ordering system of choice. Don’t forget to get it express shipped to you!

When the landlord came today, he measured everything

So just thinking about it, I should probably write a review for my favourite book; House of Leaves. I remember that Crystal had a copy and really loved it, and was trying to explain it to me, but couldn’t. After reading the book, (I think during my first read, I read it five times) I can’t explain it either. 

I think you could basically say, ” the book is about a movie that (probably) doesn’t exist, about a house that’s bigger on the inside, a blind man, and a guy that slowly falls into some serious mental problems. Or does he? After the books been read, you’ll have the same problem. And, each time you read it, you’ll get something different out of it. 

Other than just seeing the cover of Crystal’s copy, I was going in completely blind. Over the course of this year, all the books I’ve read, with the exception of just one or two, I’ve gone in completely blind. I don’t mind re-reading books, hell there’s a couple that I’m not proud of that I’ve re-read way too many times.1 And I’ll do it again.2 But you can only read a book for the first time once. 

Maybe it was where I was, but I prefer to read a book for the first time, ALONE. No conversation, no extra noise to distract me. I’m easily distracted, especially when I’m reading. There are a few exceptions – if I’ve seen the movie or television show I can read, in say, the living room with other people around. 

Just looking at House of Leaves, it’s a big book, and it’s heavy. I have the remastered full colour edition. According to the book on the copyright/edition page, there’s a number of “lesser editions” that have less colours/chapters/stuff. So I basically have the superstar edition. So far in just a couple of pages, I noticed that every time the word ‘house‘ is seen, it’s blue instead of black like the rest of the words.

Odd. 

So I’m taking my time so far. Reading everything on a page before turning it. I’m even taking my time reading the table of contents! Trust me, if I’m excited, it’s hard for me to take my time. But I’m forcing myself to savour this book. It’s special. I had no idea what I was in for. 

Right after the table of contents, there’s a note from the editors basically saying, that they’ve endeavoured to make this edition the most complete edition there is.

Page turn. 

This is not for you.

Mark Z. Danielewski – House of Leaves

Well if that’s not foreboding, I don’t know what is! It may not be for me, but I already know I’m gonna read the hell out of this book. 

Next up is the introduction. Who reads the introduction in books? Nine times out of ten, I rarely read them. Like the author notes, they rarely add anything to the story. It’s usually the author taking about some life changing thing at made them revise something in the story, that they think is for the best. Most times, I’ve never read the first printing so I’d never notice anything different. But this one seemed different. I was caught by the first sentence. So I read the intro, and then read it all over again, before even starting House of Leaves.

This introduction paved the way, and totally primed you for the rest of the book. It teases you enough to make you want to jump right in. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail about the introduction, but I can say the just the introduction was a wild ride. If that’s what’s to be expected in the rest of the book, ‘dis gon b gud’. Also, I took to heart what the author mentions in the intro; 

You might try scribbling in a journal, on a napkin, maybe even in the margins of this book.

Now let me tell you, I’ve never wrote or scribbled in a book. Well, my college text books, but not a novel. But in this one, I’ve written in it. A lot. I’ve added highlighter as well. So much so, that I can’t really lend the book to anyone. It would look like the work of a madman. Maybe that’s what I was working toward. 

Muss es sein?3

As you can see, the first page of House of Leaves has writing in the margins, and highlighter. Oh, and if you can see the bottom of the page, there’s some footnotes. Without spoiling anything, this book has a lot of footnotes. 

So. Many. Footnotes. Some times it’s going to be overwhelming, so suck it up buttercup, enjoy the story. Well, there’s a few stories in House of Leaves. I’m going to try to not spoil any of the book. Even though the book is 20 years old, you can only read a book for the first time once. 

But really if you’ve done any type of research on House of Leaves before buying it, you’ll know there’s a few stories in the book; the Navidson’s, Zampanò’s, and Johnny Truant’s. And the first chapters introduce you to them.  Basically, it took me a chapter or two to even realize that I’m reading three stories at once. Confusing? A little. But sometimes, you don’t even notice that you’re reading 1-3 or more stories at once. 

It’s easy! Three different stories, but in order for it to make a little sense, and for ease of reading, depending on which story you’re reading, is in a different font. Through the different fonts, you’ll know where you are in each of the stories. For what it comes down to, you’re reading a story about a story about a story about a film, about a families house that’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. 

Mind. Blown. 

Buckle up, you’re just getting started. 

Because quickly, you notice little chips in the stories. Things are off just a little. It starts reflecting on the page. And it’s almost a slow burn that the pages start going crazy. You don’t notice it at first, then suddenly, you’re holding the book up to a mirror, and you’re writing notes in the margins like a crazy man scribbling on the walls, or standing on the corner shaking a banana at people passing by. 

But for the most part you kind of get used to it, and you hope every page turn that it’s going to be even crazier than the pages before. Some of the pages make you want to read faster and faster, some pages are really good at making you very claustrophobic, and some do a great job of pushing a little bit of paranoia right at you. 

There is so much information in House of Leaves. Both in the story itself, or in the appendices. On each re-read I always seem to learn something new. There’s only one part that I’ll ALWAYS skip.4 And for the people that have read it, you’ll know what I’m talking about. It’s the only time that I’ve really felt dirty after reading something in this book. 

If it feels like I glossing over parts in this book, I totally am. I’m making sure that I don’t spoil even the smallest thing in House of Leaves. If you’re a fan of mystery, horror, love, biographies, etc you’re going to love this book. Maybe. I can guarantee that you’ll either love it or hate it. Let’s just say it’s not your moms romance novels. 

Also, I hope you like puzzles.

1 Namely Twilight, which he’s read more than I have, and I can’t NOT binge the movies if I find them on TV – the Editor
2 Case in point – the Editor
3 “Must it be?”
4 Yup, I skip it. – the Editor