3/9/20

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3/9/20
8:20pm

Hey you sexy thang!

Just got off the phone with you. I’m freaking out about calling the consulate. What if ICE did tell them and they don’t care? What if they don’t want me back? 8.5/10 on the anxiety scale now. Course on the flip side, what if they don’t know I’m here? I’m very very scared about making that call tomorrow. Owen and I figure either this Friday or at the latest next Friday, I’ll be in front of a judge. Then it begins.

Shit just got real.

Martin Lawrence – Bad Boys (1995)

What if my own country doesn’t want me?

I’m starting to feel very sick. It’s very difficult (and getting harder) to stay positive. It’s hard to see the light at the tunnel, when you haven’t entered the tunnel yet. Course my mind could just be blowing this waay out of proportion. I can hear you in my ear; “Relax baby, we’ll get through this, you and me.” That makes me smile.

Ok, I have the sequence of numbers I need to dial to talk to Canada. I’m prepared. I hope. I wish you were here to be my strenght. The hard part (good or bad) will be waiting to call you tomorrow evening. Wish me luck tonight in your dreams. Every night I drive to the temple¹ to wait for you. One night in my dreams you’ll be there. I love you so much. So very much.

This letter is getting depressing. 0/10 would not read again. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be in a better mood. Fingers crossed. Just about a whole page of whining, can I get any more pathetic? I’m going to flip this page, and then the flip side will be happy rainbows out my ass, hap hap happiness.

Yes indeedy it shall be! I love you, my queen <3

So I called the consulate. Any visa/immigration will not be handled by phone. I left a message just to make me feel better. I got my court date – the 19th of this month. I don’t know if it’s a video, but it lists Boston so I don’t know. Least I’ll have my hair did this week. So crappy sleep, and an anticlimactic AM. And I can’t even call you for like 9ish hours. I was joking with Owen that on the 18th, I’d like to talk to Capt. America² and tell him to just send me home, Owen said I’d still go to Boston to sign to paperwork. Dayum. HaHa!

So hopefully the rest of the day is a great one. Commasary may or may not come who knows? They pulled the library cart out last night, and pushed it right back in. Ugh, hahaha. I’m running out of books to read. Next I’ll be having to read Danielle Steel. Or Spanish James Patterson.

Other than the shitty sleep, and the consulate fiasco, I’m in a pretty steady mood, looking forward to calling you tonight, although not much of an update, but I get to hear your voice. And that’s a good thing.

Lookee lookee, another letter almost done. O

I’ve surprised myself by being able to write this much. 5 letters in and I haven’t even mentioned assless chaps³ once! I’m totes proud of myself! #fistbump

Ok, sweets I love you so much

I hope your day is going great!

I love you <3

¹ where we were married – ed.
² the generic name given to any ICE agent working at the facility
³ ALL CHAPS ARE ASSLESS. IF THEY’RE NOT ASSLESS, THEY’RE PANTS. – ed