Today, my beautiful wife, Crystal embarks on an adventure. She’s making her way down to America’s wang.
I know she can do this. She can do this even with two cats howling.
She’s strong. I love her so fucking much
You got this baby.
One step closer.
Good morning everyone. I’ve been awake on and off since around 4. I kept trying to burrito because for some reason it was freakin cold. I also set my alarm wicked early, so I could bid farewell to Crystal, as she (I think has been on the road for like an hour now) heads south like a Canadian snowbird.
It snowed all day yesterday. Aside from the snow piles, it was just about gone. I was excited that spring was coming. Well guess what, winter is coming.
I’m really tired of the snow. And the cold.
The first day of spring is coming, I’m told.
Well the coffee is ready, I should go.
If y’all have the chance, hop skip and jump over to Crystal’s site and give her encouragement on her trip.
I’m sitting here mostly crying. Crystal is sleeping peacefully, and without her to chat, I’m just watching Downton. Season 6, episode 3. You know, the episode where Mr. Carson gets married to Mrs. Hughes. And at the end, Tom comes back.
I love this show. Maybe it’s because it’s set in a simpler time. I don’t know. I just love it. Make fun of me if you want, I don’t mind.
It’s been a long day, and when it’s a long day, I’m just a little emotional. I’m excited to move out. I’m also very scared about living on my own. By myself. Most days that’s what I want – just to be left alone. I can’t hold a conversation,I like it to be quiet. But sometimes, like now, it’s very quiet. Some days are better than others, and I can joke around a little, but most days, I think I just want to be left alone.
It’s kind of like that episode of The Twilight Zone, about the guy that just wants to be left alone so he can read. But his glasses break.
Will I be able to handle the quiet when all is said and done? Can I be by myself and just be?
The big worries are over – unless something major happens, the house will be sold tomorrow. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault. Everything.
Crystal is on her way to Florida. It’ll be good for her to be with family again. I’m doing the opposite – moving away, albeit 5 minutes down the road. But still. It’ll be good for her. I hope it’s good for me.
I miss her so much. I miss her so much that saying I miss you so much seems like it’s an insult. I’m not smart enough to properly express in words how much I miss her. I yearn for her. I require her. I’m mad for her.
To quote Bridgerton, I burn for her.
Yet she’s there, and I am here, and I caused all this. This is my regret. This is what I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.
And I will.
When she smiles at me, my heart lifts.
I love her so much.
I miss her so much. I ache for her.
I got right off the topic didn’t I? Maybe it was just an excuse to get this off my chest. Well there it is. It’s just about time to sneak outside, light a joint, then sneak back inside and try to get some sleep, and do it all again on the morning.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, even though I’m pretty certain no one will see this. I always feel better after writing my feelings down on “paper”. Please, carry on with what you were doing.