Locked in the truck of a car

Posted on by Shawshank
What’s there to do in a small town?
 
Nothing. Nothing at all. 
 
If, by chance, I want to go to a book store. The second hand store is open Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. A real book store? That’s about 2 hours away. The library? Not open yet. They hope to partially open August 4th. But I do have a library card, which is nice, I guess.
 
I took living in a city, my wife, my life for granted, and now I’m being punished for it. I’ve made terrible mistakes in my life. And now I’m paying for it. I’m an idiot. I’m not the only one being punished. The Editor is being severely punished for this too. For that, I’ll never stop beating myself up for it. I beat myself up over this all day, everyday. And I’ll do that for the rest of my life. I don’t deserve The Editor, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to deserve her. 
 
Wander Walmart? 2 hours away. Movie theatre? 1 hour and 20 minutes away. A mall? 2 hours and thirty minutes. “I’m just gonna go out to Tim Horton’s… No no no, you’re gonna drive for 35 minutes. Anything you want to do here, you need a car. There’s literally nothing to do here. I just watch TV, eat, read, and sleep. I’ve let the people know at the museum, and the second hand store, that I can and would be happy to volunteer there. They both have my numbers. Neither have called yet. 
 
I’m just loagy today. I had a good sleep, it didn’t feel very restful though. I’m usually away slightly before my alarm goes off. Today, my alarm scared me when it went off. It’s hard to be positive when you’re tired. Lemme fix that sentence. It’s just hard. 
 
It sucks being so powerless, and having to wait. I’m not a patient man, and all I can do is wait for a time to get my fucking ID sorted out. It sucks. A lot. I’m powerless in Rhode Island, to help The Editor. I’m just powerless. I basically eat and sleep. I’m tired of it. Without ID, no job, bank account, can’t get a drivers licence, nothing. It’s a waiting game, and I don’t wait very well. 
 
Sometimes I wish I could sleep the days away, because when I wake up, that means the day has started, and here I am alone. Punishing myself mentally over and over again. The dreams lately have been weird, and not good weird. The Editor leaving me, and not allowing me to go with her. The Editor ignoring me. The Editor forgetting about me, and just going on with her life. Me being stuck into parents house and making nothing of myself. Or the best one; The Editor finally making it up here, and then hello parents basement. And not being able to do anything and her getting fed up about living in a small town and saying “fuck it, I can’t live in TinyTown”.
 
I don’t even know if I’ll post this.  Just really trying to stay positive. Do I feel a little better about just writing this down? Meh. A little. 
 
Right now, it’s a holding pattern. We’re waiting for the border to open. That’s the next hurdle. Once the border opens (and hopefully soon), then things can get moving. But right now, EVERYTHING is just up in the air. 
 
What’s there to do in a small town?
 
Nothing. Nothing at all. 
 
Just think. 

Wind on the weathervane

Posted on by Shawshank
Since I got here, I've adopted a few chores. Like taking out the trash when it appears by the door. Vacuuming. Sous chef when needed, and each night I water the 3 tomato plants, the cucumbers, and the strawberries. 

Originally, the plants were my grammas, but she doesn't get around very well at all anymore, and can't navigate stairs while holding a watering can. Sometimes she'll go out and look at them, and complain that it's taking too long for them to ripen, and that all the cucumbers are dead. 

I can tell you that the cucumbers aren't dead,  and they're about the size of dill pickles right now. Each night I'll water them (2 water containers – if it's just one, the tomatoes droop), I've been good at remembering to water them. 
I think my mom thought I forgot last night, and watered them this morning. More water for the water God! 
But right now, I really need some more coffee. Shady Acres is slowly starting to wake up. I'll let my gramma do her breakfast routine, and then I'll get another cup of coffee. 

This afternoon, I'll drop some more stuff off at the second hand store. The stuff I'm dropping off are some DVDs, and some books, I believe. I hope I'm helping enough around the house. 
Happy Thursday from TinyTown!

They found armour in my belly

Posted on by Shawshank
Tinytown has been busy, at least on my street. Here's the run down:
– satellite was down. Needed a new lmb. Got that. Upstairs is working. One of the cables going downstairs broke. Dad thinks someone came by and ripped it apart. I think the cable is just old and fell apart. Agree to disagree. Going to town later to get more parts. 
– moved the living room around this morning. BEFORE my coffee. Pulled out all the DVDs and cleaned and dusted. Had two cats helping/supervising. Floors cleaned. Nicnacks dusted. 
– grocery shopping this afternoon. Because we have to get connectors for the cables. I now know where I get my obsessive qualities. If we didn't go in dad would take time off of work to get the pieces himself. The plan was to go grocery shopping Thursday. 
– after groceries, I plan on mowing the lawn. “It needs to be done again?!” Mom asked. Yeah it should be done once a week. It's pretty tall in the back. 
– got a library card yesterday. The library is tiny. Maybe 10×10. But it's cute and the town couldn't really support anything bigger. 
– dropped stuff off at the second hand store. Some of moms crafting books she didn't want any more. And one shirt of my grandfathers. Picked up “N0S4A2” by Joe Hill for .50c
– tomorrow I'll be sneaking some of my dads DVDs and books to the second hand store. He's a borderline hoarder. Mom thinks it's because he never really had anything as a kid. Case in point: for 30 years he's been carting around VHS movies. He never watches them – he's moved on to DVDs and Blu-Ray. But refuses to get rid of them. 

– watched two kids walk around a ride on lawn mower like it was a classic sports car. Afterwards he drove it around the town, and then into the car wash to power wash it. The amount of people that just tool around on ride ons or hoverrounds here is astonishing!
I think that's about all that's happened this week. Oh, Friday we have to take my gramma to the doctor. Just a 3 month check up for her meds. Fun fun. 

Let’s just see what the morning brings

Posted on by Shawshank
“Please standby for the satellite signal. Thank you for your patience.”
 
But it’s sunny out!
 
That’s been on the TV since about 8am. So I’ve done other things, read my new book: “The Goldfinch”, helped my mom cook lunch, and most recently, shaved my head and trimmed my beard. Outside, as to not make a mess. 
 
Last night, after saying good night to The Editor, and getting comfy on the bed to read a little (House of Leaves… yes, again). I didn’t feel like a podcast, I had a visitor!
 

 

Lexi, one of my moms cats came to visit. It made my whole night. They’d come up to me in other rooms to say hi, and let me pet them, but Lexi is most like Mal – very vocal, and lovey. When she came up on my bed I was so happy. She snuggles for a while and let me give her all the loves. It felt like I was back home with my little Malmal. 
 

 

I had hoped, that when I shut off the light, she’d stay and snuggle some more, but she didn’t. She had her other humans to check on, and went off to do that. 
 
It felt nice to have some feline contact. Just me and her. I’ve been terribly lonely here, and I think she knew that.