How can a movie be so different from the novel of our generation? Welcome to Forks, where the girls are pale, and the boys are vampires.

So many things are wrong about this movie. The pacing is off, and all of the major plot points are all wrong. I’m pretty sure only the names are the same, because while close to the book, it’s also miles off.

And that’s kind of annoying.

The plot points from the book and the movie just don’t match up. Nor do the visuals. Why would they take the Jeep and the BMW to school. LOW MOTHERFUCKING PROFILE.

I believe book Edward said, and I quote, “ostentatious”.

One of the few things that do match up is the baseball game, and the glorious 2006 Muse hit Supermissive Black Hole – which, I’m told was written just for this scene, and never released again.

The running to Phoenix, was so blink of an eye fast, and then Bella gets away by simply walking out the front door of the hotel? That’s some serious bullshit I tells you.

This isn’t how in my minds eye, how I pictured the ballet studio scene to go. I don’t know, I pictured in more in the day light for some reason. then suddenly slap fight and blonde evil vampire is a fireball. Anticlimactic much?

There’s the happy ending we’ve been waiting for. I believe this is the first time I’ve seen the whole move from start to finish. Will it replace the book for me? Hell no. This is a book for our generation. Without the first book, there’s no SAGA. Remember that.