Tag: journal

Your love is thick, and it’s swallowed me whole

Posted on by Shawshank

Good morning all you morning people. I am not a morning person. The coffee is brewing, and I woke up with a headache this fine, but slightly chilly morning.

I started to pack last night. Not a lot. Just the clothes that were hanging in the closet. I quickly thought, then dismissed packing some of my moms hangers. I took them to the laundry room.

I’m slowly starting to prepare for the move. The heaviest will be my books. I’ll have to split them in to multiple boxes. I figure ( and I always get the guesstimating wrong when it comes to moving), that I should pretty much have everything moved in on the first.

I have the internet appointment for the first. It’s an “all day” appointment. Meaning 8-5. Thankfully this town is so small, I can be back at The Flat in literally 2 minutes by car. To watch the technician do the install.

I plan on having everything moved over Friday, minus the bed frame. You need to have studied at MIT to take it a part, so I’ll leave that for Saturday, when my dad is off work to disassemble and reassemble for me.

Wow, I was a talkative person, considering I’m not a morning person! Have a great Sunday everyone!

If that’s your best, your best won’t do

Posted on by Shawshank

Awake. Slept all the way through the night. The sun is rising, and the coffee is brewing. I’m almost ready to greet the day

Hello sunshine! The earth says hello!

I only remember 1 dreams and it was right before my alarm went off – I dropped my phone and the screen was cracked. Then I woke up.

If that’s what constitutes a nightmare nowadays, I’ll take it.

Crystal got to Florida, and got the wire. Yay! But the coffee is ready, and it’s been a long week. I need this coffee to power my day. Have a great Saturday all.

That night we split a rattlesnake and danced beneath the stars

Posted on by Shawshank

I’m awake! It’s Friyay! Crystal is on the final leg of her journey. I’m mostly awake, and trying to formulate sentences. I’m trying!

The house sold yesterday afternoon. Sometime in the near future Crystal will receive a lot of money via a wire into her account. They verified the amount with me.

I don’t really have a lot to talk about today. Maybe it’s Beschusses I’m still partly asleep. I dunno, so maybe I’ll leave it right here.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Alright stop, collaborate and listen

Posted on by Shawshank

Good morning, happy almost Pre-Friyay! Almost there. I slept like a rock last night. I can’t remember my dreams, I just remember that they were strange dreams.

So now I’m up and dressed and waiting for the coffee to brew. It’s a new day, and it’s a good day to have a good day. And it’ll be a good day once the coffee is ready to slurp down.

In The Flat news, all utilities will be turned on as of the 1st. That’ll be good. I’m mostly excited about it. Mostly because my first meal will be rattlesnake pasta with chicken. That’s going to be really really yummy.

I hope everyone has a good day. And a good drive, and possibly a nap. We’ll leave the light on 🙂

Lockup Library – Downton Abbey

Posted on by Shawshank

I’m sitting here mostly crying. Crystal is sleeping peacefully, and without her to chat, I’m just watching Downton. Season 6, episode 3. You know, the episode where Mr. Carson gets married to Mrs. Hughes. And at the end, Tom comes back.

I love this show. Maybe it’s because it’s set in a simpler time. I don’t know. I just love it. Make fun of me if you want, I don’t mind.

It’s been a long day, and when it’s a long day, I’m just a little emotional. I’m excited to move out. I’m also very scared about living on my own. By myself. Most days that’s what I want – just to be left alone. I can’t hold a conversation,I like it to be quiet. But sometimes, like now, it’s very quiet. Some days are better than others, and I can joke around a little, but most days, I think I just want to be left alone.

It’s kind of like that episode of The Twilight Zone, about the guy that just wants to be left alone so he can read. But his glasses break.

Will I be able to handle the quiet when all is said and done? Can I be by myself and just be?

The big worries are over – unless something major happens, the house will be sold tomorrow. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault. Everything.

Crystal is on her way to Florida. It’ll be good for her to be with family again. I’m doing the opposite – moving away, albeit 5 minutes down the road. But still. It’ll be good for her. I hope it’s good for me.

I miss her so much. I miss her so much that saying I miss you so much seems like it’s an insult. I’m not smart enough to properly express in words how much I miss her. I yearn for her. I require her. I’m mad for her.

To quote Bridgerton, I burn for her.

Yet she’s there, and I am here, and I caused all this. This is my regret. This is what I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.

And I will.

When she smiles at me, my heart lifts.

I love her so much.

I miss her so much. I ache for her.

I got right off the topic didn’t I? Maybe it was just an excuse to get this off my chest. Well there it is. It’s just about time to sneak outside, light a joint, then sneak back inside and try to get some sleep, and do it all again on the morning.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, even though I’m pretty certain no one will see this. I always feel better after writing my feelings down on “paper”. Please, carry on with what you were doing.